As we wrote in the article on the chemistry of love, what happens in our brain and body when we fall into the clutches of mad love, is driven by hormones. Unfortunately, we do not have a real impact on our reactions. We idealise the other person and we think they have no faults. We also have the impression that this state will last indefinitely and we will always be perfect with each other. The problem is that after some time hormones cease to control our brain and body, we start to realise the truth about the other person, who has faults and weaknesses, is at times annoying, has different habits and definitely does not seem as perfect as they did when we fell in love.
Then it comes time to work - everyday, sometimes laborious, but always extremely satisfying work on the relationship. There is, unfortunately, no universal advice on how to create a good relationship or marriage, although there are certainly some rules that you should stick to, Bien Magazine advises.
Build positive emotions
Note how difficult it is to live with an eternally unhappy person who does not see any positive things in life. If you try to explain something to a person like this, they will boycott everything that is said. Remind yourself of a moaner, someone who constantly agonises and complains about everything. Now consider how much easier it is to live with someone who sees the positives in every life event - even the most unfortunate ones. From being with such person you can gain strength and the feeling that there is always a way out, and the bad things that happen to us are a learning curve and nothing else.
That is why you both must try to be the person from the second example - inspire each other with hope, be an example of optimism, support each other in difficult moments, without losing sight of the purpose and goals in front of you. It is not easy, but possible to do.
Determine that in your relationship the most important thing is kindness and friendship
With whom, if not with your partner can you really be friends? You know everything about yourselves, you know each others best and worst sides. To have a long and happy relationship, you have to establish an iron rule - it has to be lead by good will and mutual support. Do not attack each other for trivial matters or for serious ones. Assume that all of us have the right to make mistakes - that is human nature. Forgive yourself small mishaps, talk about serious matters - always kindly and with understanding for the other person.
Always stand on your partner’s side, be supportive of one another. Never let yourself feel that you cannot rely on the other person.
Be happy together with what you have
Another ability, not easy to create in a relationship (and in yourself) is to be happy here and now. Your happiness becomes your partner's happiness - you must always remember that. So if you both learn to be happy with every moment of your life, you have the chance to experience your time together really well.
People, unfortunately, think they will be happy only when they achieve something. It is very difficult to implement this premise, which makes us only happy from time to time instead of being happy all the time. Therefore, you both need to practice the difficult art of being happy here and now, enjoying the smallest things. This makes people very, very close and the relationship evolves into something wonderful.
Author: Bien Magazine