When you compare someone to a very respected, famous or well-known person it is a compliment. If they are compared to someone in anger, during an argument, nothing good will come out of that. You can find below our relationship advice for women and men.
Why aren’t you like…
Those words said in anger in many cases even led to a divorce. Added insult to injury. They could take no more.
During an argument it is easy to let a very hurtful sentence slip: “Why aren’t you as good as my first fiancée?”, “Why aren’t you as good a mum as my own?” There are many examples. There is no end to those comparisons.
Negative comparison between someone and another person, who is better at something than the accused person is like a slap in the face, which really hurts. It doesn’t matter whether those words are said at the beginning of your dating or after 15 years of marriage. They will always hurt the same.
The biggest problem is that we usually talk about someone the other person knows. Sometimes doesn’t even value them. And then all of the sudden they find out they are less worthy, not needed as much, less attractive or they are less able to do things comparing to the ex-fiancé, mother, father, an accomplice, friend etc.
I should have been with…
An even worse insult is saying “I should’ve been with…”. It means that your current partner is not good enough, being with them is a mistake and a failure. In addition – constantly disappoints, makes you dream about someone else you knew years before.
Besides the fact that no one knows whether the relationship with someone else would bring happiness, sentences like that would have serious consequences. An accused and criticised person can start suspecting that their partner never truly loved them and they only stayed together because of their self-serving nature or a chance. They will also think that your thoughts are continuously returning to another person or previous relationship. Or, what’s even worse – an affair.
Words like those can be the first step to a breakdown of trust in the relationship, being suspicious, feeling of isolation. With one simple sentence we can put years of a happy relationship under question. We have to be very, very careful what we are saying! With one sentence we could destroy something that we spent years building together with our partners.
Author: Bien Magazine