Set in culture patriarchy is still quite common, where men are having to provide for their families and women to look after the house. We would think that the modern world, so technologically advanced, offering so much, freed women from that pattern. As it turns out it is not entirely correct. Bien Magazine investigates.
Work on two full time posts
For reasons unknown there is a common idea that all the housework is not actually work. Cleaning, cooking, shopping, washing and drying clothes, looking after kids, taking them to school and other extracurricular activities or picking them up again, in the opinion of many is not actual work. Of course those errands are not connected with earning money therefore they are not connected with work. Actually they are really important jobs, they require a lot of effort, planning, time and sacrifice.
If a woman works in a full time job until 4pm and afterwards completes all of the house chores, we can easily say she works two shifts.
Husband tired after work
There is a very hard to get rid of habit which is often visible in men spoiled by their mothers and then wives. When a man like that returns home from work (the one done for money), he thinks that he has all the rights to feel tired that he has to now rest the whole afternoon. He sits in front of the TV or computer, waits for his dinner, and afterwards once full, he goes to look after his own business or to nap. For some unknown reason he does not have to work the second shift (the unpaid one). He set out those rules and his wife agreed. This is because that is how she was brought up at home.
Whose fault is it?
On one hand the man as an adult should take on some of the household responsibilities. Some of them maybe even willingly would do something around the house if not for the wife protesting. There are households that believe that men cannot do anything right. That’s why women prefer to work on their own, so they don’t have to correct everything after their partners. They insist on that. Then she stays with all the household duties and after a while she feels angry, tired and used.
On the other hand those men are used to, by being taught by their mothers, to not take on any household chores. They use what they learnt at home in their own relationship or marriage. Then there is no conversation about whether women like it or not.
What to do?
Don’t take all the responsibilities on yourself, there is nothing as complicated in the house that the husband could not cope with it. If he does, in your opinion, do something wrong, don’t just do it for him, but show him how to do it right.
Or the harder one, don’t let them terrorise you and make household duties your responsibility only, divide them fairly. Then no one will feel resentful and both sides will have some time for themselves every day.
Author: Bien Magazine