A life without stress does not exist. There is no point convincing a child they will never encounter a difficult, disappointing or traumatising situation in their lives. Understanding parents believe there is no point isolating a child from all the problems of the world. They realise that sooner or later the child will face a problem, but it is all part of growing up. It only has to begin going to kindergarten and school, spending time with its peers, then the problems start. It is scary to think how a stress-less brought up child will manage in their lives. Bien Magazine explores the topic.
What does the stress-less upbringing involve?
So called stress-less upbringing is based on the parents understanding, in short, solving the child’s every problem, always giving it what it wants and being submissive in every situation while the child is taking charge.
This is a completely wrong idea of the real stress-free upbringing which people attempted to try hundreds of years ago.
The effect of so called stress-less upbringing is dramatic for the child. It gets used to the fact that the whole world is waiting for its commands. It is convinced that everyone has to yield to it and do everything that its heart desires. When a child like this faces problems on its path the only reaction to it is anger, aggression and feeling of complete disorientation and loneliness if no one solves the problems for it.
Grown up children about stress-less upbringing
Those who were the victims of badly understood stress-less upbringing concepts, who are now adults, usually describe themselves as losers, who struggle to find their own place in the world. They have great difficulties with creating good relationships with other people and can’t keep a job. They are tormented by different insecurities, have many phobias and are afraid of the world because they feel everything in it works against them. They start to become paranoid that they are the only ones that bad things happen to. This is said about the most trivial, daily and life problems which others don’t even notice and solve nearly automatically.
How to properly bring kids up in a stress-less way?
To closely and logically follow the idea of stress-less upbringing, you have to follow certain rules. You can’t be aggressive or domineering towards your child, try to be someone who explains the world to it. If the child is not allowed to do something, you have to explain this to them. There is no point trying to resolve the situation by being aggressive or the other way – by giving presents to get them on your side.
On the other hand you have to establish, with precision, the line between being a parent and being a friend. A parent cannot just be a friend, they have to also take responsibility for bringing up their child. You can’t think that the child will manage well on its own in the world by creating their own moral or ethical boundaries.
You have to always remember to teach the child to face any obstacles and problems; this is the most important job that parents have and parents have to show the child how not to blame the world for its own mistakes.
Author: Bien Magazine