In the first part of the article we, Bien Magazine, wrote about how important it is to listen to another person. In this way, among other things, we show the others how important they are to us and how much we care about their emotions. The one who feels heard, properly listened to with sincerity and devotion, is a happy person. Do you not believe it? Remember how many times you felt angry and not good enough because someone did not listen to you. This often involves strangers, random people who did not want to listen and did not do it. What happens if your loved ones do not listen?
Listen with attention
If you want to listen well and genuinely, remove from your mind all the thoughts that absorb you in that moment and focus one hundred percent on the person you are talking to. Look at them, patiently await the development of thoughts and do not interrupt. If you do not have time to talk at the present moment, explain it, say it honestly and set a different date. There is no worse listener than the one who sits on the edge of the chair and gives a sour expression to say "will you finish already?!"
During a conversation you cannot work on your laptop, check your smartphone or reply to text messages. Either you listen or you do something else. You cannot be a good listener when you are distracted.
Do not advise
Do not talk, do not jump on the board with your advice, it is not your role. If you are a listener, be it from start to finish. Interfering with the advice can be terribly irritating and sometimes even humiliating for someone who wanted to be heard, because they needed to offload.
Besides - the advice always places the advisor higher than the person who is talking. Hence - you have to be careful with advising others. If you really cannot stop yourself, ask "can I advise you?" It is much kinder than self-imposing.
Do not judge
And another very important issue – you cannot, under any circumstances, judge a person who you are listening to. Regardless of how paranoid and crazy their actions seem to you. They want to talk and your role is to listen. And that is it.
Do not interrupt
And the third very important rule - do not interrupt the speaker. If a friend wants to tell you about their break up with a boyfriend, do not interfere and remind her of your own experience in this matter. Remember that this is not your time and not your moment. You are only a helper here, you are here to be helpful by listening to the other person. Your time will come later.
Say „thank you” for the trust
If you want to be once again honoured with the trust of the person who confessed to you, thank them for confinding in you. Thank them for the trust and that they came to you for support - even if they did not ask for advice; sometimes just saying things out loud is enough. With such gesture you show the other person respect. It works wonders!
Author: Bien Magazine