When a baby appears in your life, your world stands on its head and you try to be the perfect mother. You devote all of you to your child, all your time and put all of your needs aside. You exist for the child and forget about yourself. After some time, your husband or grandparents move reluctantly into the shadow, because after all, you do not need anyone, you manage perfectly all alone. However, when you have a few, free minutes you pretty much fall asleep while standing, this is a clear sign that something is not working well and that you went in the wrong direction. You may have been deceived by media showing you the artificial and idealistic image of the perfect mother. But you are still a human and the fact that you have a baby now does not make you lose your human qualities and needs. Therefore - look at the matter from a distance and turn yourself into a mother who, from time to time, has time for herself. You will see how well everything starts to work.
If you do not love yourself, you will raise an unhappy child
If you are not happy but constantly tired, on the verge of depression, renouncing your needs and sleep, small pleasures and deprived to the limit - you will not raise a happy child. Do not delude yourself. The baby will sense that you are on the verge of a breakdown. Sometimes they may even experience your anger when you cannot stand the pressure anymore. The pressure that you imposed on yourself.
Learn to leave the house
Motherhood is an extraordinary experience, but it must be lived wisely. You cannot be a mother and just a mother - because it will end badly for your mental health and in the long term for your relationship or marriage. Therefore, take advantage of the offer from your parents, friends, or trusted people and leave the child with them for some time. Go out for a coffee with your friend or pop into the cinema. Do not feel guilty. You have the right, actually, you have a duty (!) to take care of yourself just as you care about your own offspring. Try it a few times and you will find that this hour or several hours without a child can restore your strength. You will come home to your beloved little baby with much more enthusiasm, tremendous energy and you will be much happier together than before. Go on, I dare you to try it.
Leisure time will not find itself
This is bad news – do not count on a miracle where your baby will decide that you have a spare moment and that you will be able to do what you want. If you let yourself be consumed by innumerable duties that involve taking care of your child, you will get bogged down in them. Then even silly time of watching a whole 23-minute episode of a favourite show will turn out to be an unmanagable task.
Mandatory moments only for yourself
Therefore, to relax properly and fully you must determine when and where you will regularly go out to. Sign up for a course, go to yoga, gym or wherever you will feel good and where you will be important (where someone else will take care of you for a change). Pay for this time and you will feel obliged to make the most of it. You will see how extraordinary the effects will be. And, again, we strongly remind you, do not have the slightest feeling of guilt because you want to have some time for yourself. Therefore listen to this relationship advice. Being a mom does not make you stop being a human!
Author: Bien Magazine