On one hand, dates are about talking, but on the other, you should also know how to listen. The latter seems to be quite difficult for many people, whereas talking is much less problematic.
Listening and hearing
Listening and hearing are two completely different things. Those who listen are emotionally involved in the things others talk to them about. Those who hear are actually indifferent towards what their conversation partners have to say. Put yourself in a situation where you talk to somebody. Would you prefer to be talking to someone who listens or to someone who hears? We assume that the latter is not what you would choose. There’s nothing pleasant about your words being ignored. This shows that the other party is not interested in dating you.
Probably everybody would say that listening is important. However, listening is followed by emotional involvement. Once you show the other person that their words are important to you, get ready for certain consequences.
Such person will find you nice immediately. That’s the way people are constructed – they value those, who are interested in them. All this results in eagerness for a second date, or maybe even a serious relationship.
Therefore, if you know that nothing’s going to come out of it, don’t delude your partner with an exaggerated interest in them. This is very hurtful.
Results of listening
Listening tightens interpersonal bonds and helps you make friends. Many dates that didn’t result in a romantic relationship, have become true friendships.
People who have listened to you can believe that you “owe” them. Therefore, they may want to tell you about their problems too. You have to be aware of that.
Additionally, listening is helpful in learning about life. Other people are usually eager to tell you about their own problems. If you know how to use your brains, you will learn from their experiences and won’t make their mistakes.
Author: Bien Magazine