Each one of us has a unique definition of what confidence means to us.
For some, it is the ability to stand up in public and speak with ease, and for others, it may be simply walking into a crowded room without feeling awkward or blushing from head to toe. It also could be as basic as comfortably getting naked in front of our partner with the lights on, or having the confidence to go out and land a great new job.
Confidence really is different for everyone and can be influenced by our background, beliefs and expectations. The consistent thing about confidence (or should I say a lack of it) is that it often holds us back from living the life we really want. It can prevent us from asking for that pay rise, leaving work on time, starting our own business or even getting out and about on the dating scene again after a divorce. Worst of all, it can leave us feeling inadequate and frustrated for not having the nerve to go out and do what we really want to do.
How Confidence Impacts Us
An interesting point about confidence is that it is not necessarily a general characteristic that impacts every single area of our life. Many people feel confident in a few parts of their life but may struggle in a specific area. For example, you could feel very confident at work but suffer from anxiety and nerves when dealing with your personal relationships. For others, low self-confidence may be something that impacts life in general. The good news is that whatever your personal confidence situation, general or specific, you can improve it.
One of the saddest things I see is people holding the belief that everyone else around them is far more confident than they are. This idea is too prevalent in our society today and we spend wasted hours comparing ourselves to other people or beating ourselves up for not being brave or good enough. It is as if we think we have missed the confidence bus and are doomed to spend a life watching everyone else enjoying it! This issue has been heightened in recent years due to the impact of social media, where it becomes all too easy to compare our lives to those ‘perfect’ profiles that we see each day on social-media platforms. Many of us take in this information we see online as being 100 per cent factual, which can lead to us unfavourably comparing ourselves to others and feeling that we have fallen short in our own lives. I will let you in on a little secret, though: this really isn’t the case.
Deep down every one of us has fears and will suffer from a lack of confidence at some time in our life — but we can learn to deal with it.
Top Tips to Build up your Confidence Muscle
- Everyone already has some degree of confidence; it may have just been worn down over the years.
- Each and every one of us has the ability to build a strong confidence muscle.
- If you don’t take action now, things may never change.
- Building a firm foundation will make your confidence journey far easier and enjoyable.
Author: Lisa Phillips - The Confidence Coach