The bad trait of a brain is that it codes everything. With a specific strength it recalls the events that are connected with strong emotions, unfortunately, not only good. Therefore during an argument or a stressful situation, we cannot, under any circumstances, say hurtful words. They will otherwise be strongly and forever coded and remembered by the partner. Here more relationship advice for women and men.
Because there was no one else on the horizon…
When someone throws a sentence in another person’s face; “I’m with you because there was no one else/better around” is an evident proof that for the speaker, the whole years spent together don’t mean anything. Someone who says anything like that clearly shows their partner the relationship in their eyes is a mistake and is based on a lie. One side, as it turns out from what they are saying, didn’t really want to live in a relationship like that and feels unhappy. The person regrets the steps made in the past.
If the person really feels this way, they can express it differently. Saying “there was no one else better around or a better choice of partner” they inform their partner they never valued them, they never loved them truly. The other person was only filling the void in their life or was someone they lived comfortably with, so the family or bills were sorted.
It isn’t hard to imagine that after those conversations many relationships have ended.
I should have listened to the others…
Second, equally dramatic in consequences, are words; “I should have listened to my parents/ friends when they said you are not good for me/ I could do better/ we won’t be happy. As it turns out I should have listened to wiser people. Now both of us would have been happy in different relationships”.
Those words, despite the fact they are very hurtful and cruel, are a pure nonsense. Who in this world could predict whether the relationship will work out and people will be happy or not? Not even a psychic can say that. Therefore friends, family or acquaintances cannot predict a future fate of a relationship. If someone’s relationship doesn’t work out, it doesn’t mean their children, grandchildren or friends have to be unhappy.
Unfortunately, feeling aggrieved that one was so stupid, irresponsible or blinded that they didn’t listen to the advice of people smarter than them, proves only the immaturity of the person. You could come to a conclusion that the relationships should be judged by others. If they said that it will all work out, they could be together. It is absurd! Often, those who advise not to commit to a certain person were in unhappy relationships and made a mistake after a mistake. And those who against all odds stayed together, lived wonderful times as a couple.
Author: Bien Magazine