If a child cries before going to kindergarten, does not want to go there and does everything possible to stay home, it is clear that they have a serious problem. Parents must take their children’s fears seriously and find out what is causing them. It can turn out of course, that the child is experiencing a delayed stress connected with adaptation to the new environment. They can perhaps rebel against a visit to a place that, despite their parents' promises, does not seem particularly appealing to them. In that case, you do not have to worry, because this stage is going to end soon. It is much worse if the child actually has a reason to fear going to nursery. Then it is necessary to understand the basis of their behaviour. Bien Magazine sheds some light on possible solutions.
Find out what the problem is
If your child has already acclimatised with the kindergarten and generally attends with pleasure and all of the sudden begins to resist going, you can assume that something unpleasant happened to them there. Maybe they had an argument with friends or maybe a teacher reacted too sharply to a minor offense? We could ask "maybe" many times and get lost in speculation. You need to find out what exactly is causing the distress. How do you do it? Do not suggest to your child straight away to tell you what is bothering them, because they will probably not do it or will tell you some made up story. Sneak the question in during play time instead. Ask and then leave the topic. Let them either talk about it or forget about the issue for a moment. Then ask again, until you achieve the desired effect.
What to do if your child does not want to talk about the problem?
If your child is stubbornly silent about the cause of their problem in kindergarten, it may be a signal that the problem is more serious than it seemed at first. If that is the case, let them stay at home for a day or two and see if the reluctance has passed. If not, you need to talk to the teacher immediately and if that does not work, you must insist to be able to see your child’s interactions in the group. You need to get to the bottom of the problem. Do not neglect this, no matter how much commitment the solution will require of you.
When the situation requires intervention
There are situations where you need to intervene - talk to the tutor or the head teacher. You must not underestimate the circumstances in which your child is suffering any harm, is overly punished or threatened. If the teacher forbid the child to complain to the parents about a nagging friend, it is important to resolve it immediately. The child must know that they can count on their parents when bad things are happening to them.
Who do you believe?
Parents often fear that by talking to a teacher regarding their inappropriate behaviour, they may make things worse for the child. But leaving the matter alone will definitely not resolve it, so confrontation is necessary, you just have to do it in the right way. First of all - do not attack immediately, ask for a conversation, explain what worries you and ask how the teacher normally deals with this kind of situation. Try to stay friendly while the teacher is willing to solve the problem. There will always be time for the head teacher to intervene if things do not go the right way.
It may happen that the teacher is lying, but knowing that you may suspect it, they you will be more careful around your child and change their relationship. So the intervention actually produced an effect.
Remember that when your child has a problem in the kindergarten, it is important to try to look at the matter as objectively as possible, not to judge immediately and constantly complain to the head teacher about silly things. You can also talk about your various observations at parents meetings.
Author: Bien Magazine