Each of us has less or more specific wishes about their future partner. We want the person to be brave, resourceful, sensitive, affectionate, faithful - generally - so perfect, almost unreal. Well, it is probably the primary reason why almost all of us affirm that meeting a worthy person is very difficult and to create a satisfying relationship is an art. Bien Magazine offers relationship advice for women and men.
Scientists proved long time ago that the first impression that one has of others, which is the physicality of another human being, is very important to us. We judge another person on the basis of just few seconds of eye contact. We are able to turn away someone who did not appeal to us only because we did not like them initially. It is difficult, but this is how it works, even if we would argue with great ferocity that appearance does not matter to us. Later, after many years in a relationship, its importance is less significant. Because here it becomes a habit.
You never know whether your future partner just walked past you in the street. This is, unfortunately, how it works. We are guided by biology. Feelings are only in the background. Therefore look carefully, while looking for that "someone special".
It is not perfect straight away
People fall into euphoria when they are in love. The problem is that the feeling is purely based on chemistry. Your whole body is raging. There are no real feelings there, your own body and mind are playing tricks on you. Therefore, when the falling in love phase passes, often it turns out that the person with whom you were able to spend many unforgettable moments with, is now completely alien to you. This happens and there is very little we can do about it.
The problem is that you have to create the real relationship yourself. Slowly, painstakingly, adjusting to each other, telling yourself about your own requirements, strengths and weaknesses. Nothing here will happen on its own, simply and without constant work. Whoever assumes things will happen of its own accord will always end up disappointed, bitter and convinced that they will never find another person to love. Or - that they were terribly wrong and now will have to pay for their mistakes for years, living in a toxic relationship.
Please note – all fairy tales end with the magical "happily ever after" and romantic stories end at a time when two heroes fall in each other's arms. This happens because what comes next is more difficult, the hard work in a relationship, every day, laboriously, until full synchronisation. This part is not always glamorous and will not make a good topic for fairy tales and romantic histories.
You need to feel close
To choose to be with someone, you have to feel closeness with them, togetherness. Otherwise nothing will come of it. But - as we reported – for this real closeness and friendship you have to work hard. Each of us is different, differently perceives the world, has different habits, phobias, complexes, something different entertains and saddens us. If you want to be together, create a real, satisfying relationship, you have to know everything about yourself, set and agree everything. Then you will know when you have to compromise, and when to work out a new solution together.
Author: Bien Magazine